THIRTY

I just re-read the blog that I had written about being 29 because there was an incident at work yesterday. I work as a case manager at a hospital, assisting in discharge planning and such, but we work very closely with the floor nurses. This job is a 5 day a week job and 8 hours long, so we see them pretty regularly and get familiar with their faces even though they work 3-4 days a week. Let's run it back though and set the scene.

When I got my first job as an L&D nurse, I was a BABY, so much so that my coworker turned friend used to call me a fetus (pun intended because we worked Labor and Delivery), I was a ripe 23 years of age. I was the youngest nurse on the floor and it definitely showed. Patients used to question if I was old enough to be a nurse and would be surprised when I responded with a simple, "yes". I worked nights for 3 long years and then moved to day shift. And now back to present day, well yesterday...

I was absolutely stunned. We were having a nonchalant conversation about dating apps, as coworkers do when there is downtime on a weekend shift, and the topic of age came about. This is where things went south REAL quick. 24-27. Like... not even 25 yet? These kids are saving lives and they haven't even been legal for 5 years. I thought to myself, "HOLY S***, I'M EFFING OLD". I'm sure my face said it too because I literally wear my emotions on my sleeve. And of course, once my awe was spotted, I was asked the dreaded question, "Why, how old are you?"

I instantly replied, "just turned 30 in October", thinking there was gonna be an arousal of confusion, with responses like "OMG, you look like you're 25" or "I thought you were our age" or maybe "NAH, no way" but instead I got a protrusion of a lower lip, a head tilt and nods. THEY KNEW IT! They might as well have said "makes sense, you look 30"! And that's when I just about blacked out. I spiraled and was like no way, I'M ASIAN FOR CHRIST SAKE! They should be appalled that I'm 30! They should be causing a ruckus and making a scene and be confused that I am 30.

I guess that's what 30 is. That in between time, the gray area (literally). Me expecting to look and feel younger, but other people seeing my grays shine through the top of my brown hair. Damn, what a disappointment. I guess that's life though, just gotta keep on swimming. Happy Monday. Damn, this was a sad one to start the week with.

Eh, WHATEVAZ! We gonna make the most of it, CHEEEEEHOOOOOO CHIRTY! Sistah Ceej loves you choke! Hit me up if you wanna talk!