Things that make me laugh

I'm in NY ya'll. I am making a trek to Tampa, FL and was supposed to have a 2 hour layover here at JFK, but my initial flight got delayed 3 hours, making things a little hairy. I knew the delay was gonna cut it close, so I had previously ensured the quickest, most efficient route to get sh*t DONE. Boy, did I have it all wrong. Estimated arrival time in JFK terminal 4- 9:01am, actual arrival time- 9:11 am. (Yes, 10 min makes a huge difference). Wait wait wait, actually, lets back it up, let me tell you how I THOUGHT this situation was going to go. My connecting flight to Tampa was boarding in terminal 5, meaning I was going to have to catch the airtram from terminal to terminal, and from my rabid google search, I found that from terminal 4 to terminal 5 was a 2 minute commute and the train ran every 7 minutes. I had no check-in bags. Good to go sprinting with 2 carry-ons, nice. So originally landing at 9:01, add 5 min for taxying and deplaning in a goddamn panic frenzy, estimate of 7 min waiting for the airtram that was already 9:13... plus an exact 2 minutes for the tram putting me at 9:15, probably 10 minutes for security (thanks TSA precheck) 9:25, and hustling to the gate in 2 or so minutes to get me sweating profusely, breathing hard enough to use my albuterol inhaler but good enough to get me on my flight. LOL. Reverting back to what happened, we landed at 9:11, and by landed I mean touched down on the ground. Deplaned at 9:28, ya girl's perfectly mapped out schedule was already THROWN. At this point I really was contemplating just taking it slow. But I still persevered. And in the end, for what? Nothing really HAHA. I get to the AirTram at 9:35, and the train arrives at 9:39... you guys I already got the notification that the doors were closed, boarding was from 9:15-9:35, why was I still rushing? I think in my head I was like "well, it's supposed to depart at 9:50, and they only gave 20 min to board? yeah right." I finally get to terminal 5 (pre-TSA) after walking from the airtram station at 9:48. Notification from JetBlue: Doors have closed. It's over. Well, at least there's a 1 pm flight that I can catch that will get me to Tampa by 3... I wait in the longest kiosk line I've ever had to wait in (I mean it's kinda whatever at this point, I have the time) and get to the front for the agent to tell me that there is no availability and that the next available flight is at 3 and lands at 6. Oh yes, so that, my friends, is why I am here at JFK writing this blog, people watching, enjoying myself while also simultaneously thinking about could have a break down if anyone were to touch me, talk to me, or have any type of interaction with me. I may physically combust and shatter into a million pieces. SO... that's why I'm currently trying to think of things that make me laugh. It's for both of us, but after reading that I know that you know it's mainly for me (:

1. Women who wear stilettos on a 10.5 hour flight... just why. is.it.necessary??

2. Me trying to watch MH370 (that netflix series about the malaysian airplane going missing in 2014) while on a plane. I obviously didn't think that one through.

3. People trying to manage bags, shoes, jackets, and more while in a rush after going through TSA. This is the mere reason why I have to make sure everything is compact prior to going through TSA. Less TSA anxiety. Also mad props to TSA precheck for lightening the load.

4. People in boarding zone 5 blocking the entrance meanwhile the agent only just called military personnel... get out the mfin way fam, you're literally the last people to board.

5. My laptop going black every 5 minutes even though I'm actively typing on it...

6. Me thinking I was gonna make that flight.

Ah, so funny... I'm tired. And just venting. This list isn't really funny is it. LOL. Love you, mean it. If anyone is at JFK Terminal 5 today... hit me up! But for those of you who I won't be seeing today (probably literally all of you) have a wonderful weekend friends!