Success

Can we please just start this blog post talking about how there is a literal button on the side of me writing this that says, "Generate a full-length blog post with a title and images"? You betches out here with a thriving blog be GENERATING that ish! Cheaters! Meanwhile people like me thinking about what they are gonna post, ruminate on it for weeks, forget to post, and then show up out of the blue like I actually have something good to say and DON'T! HOW DARE! JK, mad props to the people who use the tools, you still gotta do the leg work. It looks like you just have to think of a topic and it generates, so I mean you still initiate? Honestly though, it looks like you can generate an outline and meta tags and all that too so pretty helpful, maybe if I do use the resources I'll actually get some views, readers, or regulars. ALTHOUGH! Shoutout to my international people reading my blogs. I get notifications every now and again that a few of you are skimming my stuff. THANK YOU!

Enough of that, I actually came on here to talk about the definition of success. I've been struggling in my work life (but whats new Ceej, you're always struggling) yeah I know I know.... I hear it from my husband all the time too, I honestly think I'm meant to do something else but still trying to just figure out what exactly that looks like. This work struggle is really taking everything out of me. I lack vacation time (which, I mean duh I just started). Nurses can work 3 or 4-12 hour shifts and I chose to start a job that's 5-8 hour shifts and a weekend a month. I'm losing sleep due to my anxiety because it's so new, and the amount of complaining I'm doing is honestly ridiculous. It's frustrating to hear myself, so I can't imagine how the people around me feel, especially since I'm usually extremely friendly and bubbly. I love to make people laugh, am usually very lighthearted, and this job feels like it is stealing it all from me. And I realized I know what it is. I want to be successful in this job. Usually things come pretty easily to me and once I get familiar with the environment, I can manage and things are less stressful but it's just not happening for me here. Then I thought, you know what? Let's get deeper than that.. What is the meaning of success? In anything, whether it be a job, a relationship, a plan coming to fruition. What does success mean in it's most basic form? It's a positive result established from a plan. For me in this particular scenario, that looks like comfort, ease, and ability to be efficient in my work day without any hiccups, complaints or negative outcomes. It is true, the saying that success is what you make it. Success is really defined by you because everyone has different things they want to accomplish. And so far in this job, it's not that I have made a ton of mistakes or haven't been able to accomplish what I need to, but it's more that I want to feel more at ease and comfortable. I've talked to some coworkers who are seasoned at the job, and they all say it takes some time to get comfortable and that you learn something new everyday, it's understandable and realistic. But here I am, wanting more. I realized that I need to hit the brake and have some self compassion. It's a brand new situation and I am not expected to be the absolute best right out of the gate. I thank my parents for raising me into someone who has good hard work ethic and always striving to be the best, but the trajectory is not always fast. Workflow, efficiency, and knowledge will all come in time after repetition. Success is the result of a journey and a path, impossible to achieve without time and effort. I started this job in November... and it's only January. My version of success will come in due time after experience and repetition.

This blog is not only me self soothing and finding a coping mechanism for my work situation, but hopefully the person reading this can have a takeaway from it too. Many people are trying to be successful in what they do, how they live, and may feel that it's unattainable or that it's a far reach. I hope that from reading this, you (and I) come to terms that success is achievable. It takes time, effort, and it's how you perceive it. Success is not impossible, just takes time and growth. If you ever wanna talk or have any questions, ya girl is an open book. Sistah Ceej loves you, mean it! \m/