Opting into Positivity

Another gratefulness post coming in hot. This morning, I was doing my usual dumb blank minded scrolling on social media and came across an article. New York Times had posted about women in dating in NYC right now, yes total click bait. I mean, it worked, because I clicked in and read the whole article. But midway through, something stopped me in my tracks. There was a quote from someone from the Washington Post, "Two-parent families often result in better outcomes for kids". And that hit me in the gut. As a product of a mixed family, a child with divorced parents who remarried different people... am I the bad outcome that they are referring to? And I guess this is me taking this quote out of context because they were talking about as compared to those who only have a single parent, but I felt instinctual shame when reading it. I was 1/3 of the way through an article about something entirely different and my mind just spiraled. Am I a statistic? Am I not as good as those who have two parents who are still together? The thoughts just compiled and crushed me like I was underneath crumbling rock. One thought after another. No, no, no, couldn't be. My mind instantly came to a screeching halt. Why am I even choosing to think that way? I am so blessed. I feel like people who don't have personal experience with mixed families or are not the "kid" that is experiencing the separation of parents, brand us with a negative connotation and I took on that mindset myself. Like they take pity on us for our parents being separated, and I get it. I get why but don't just put us in a box and wallow in doubt that it will negatively affect us for the rest of our lives. Alot of times, I thank the Lord for putting me in the situation that he did and allowing me to be able to experience everything I did as a child. By all means, this is not me promoting that the ideal is a mixed family, but more that there shouldn't be a negative aura around the conversation. There are many things in my life that I have come to appreciate that I never would've had if I wasn't part of a mixed family. There are big things like being able to empathize with so many different personalities, understanding the concept of time management when it comes to two separate parties, and being an effective liaison for communication. Then there's the small things like learning how to pack a compact bag for a weekend trip, flying in a plane alone, making checklists to ensure nothing was forgotten, being able to attend more family parties, making more personal connections with relatives you forgot you had x a jillion, getting an exponentially larger amount of gifts than I would've had otherwise. And obviously I wouldn't have the siblings that I truly cherish without having a total of four parents. The list could go on and on. I have come to realize that perspective is absolutely EVERYTHING. Being grateful, kind and empathetic is all a choice to better yourself and those around you. I have learned that happiness is contagious and the only necessity to obtain it is to appreciate and love what you've been given and understand that your circumstances have been given to you for a reason. I'm from a mixed family and am proud of it. If you are too and are feeling the need to talk about it or share your thoughts on the matter, or even just wanna shoot the s*** about something else with me LOL, feel free. Dropping my email for whoever wants to talk : cjslifeemail@gmail.com

Opt in to positivity this holiday season, you'll be happy you did. Love you, mean it. Talk soon. Sistah Ceej loves you.