Flights n’ Farts

Good morning from JFK airport! Last time I was here I was flying back from living in Hawaii for a year. It's been a whole 9 months aka an entire pregnancy (whyyyyyyy do I have to think about work) since I've been here. I'm headed south to Florida for a little DND time with bae. I'm so grateful that we are able to have this time off together and spend it in a warm and sunny place away from the NY hustle and bustle (and crummy weather).

The actual real reason for this blog though is because of the ride in. I have been using castle car service since I was in college... a long mfin time ago. When I was a freshman, I was sketched out about yellow cabs in the city and decided I would forever use this car service to go to and from the airport. It has stuck with me ever since. Every now and again I run into the same drivers and catch up, but for the most part they all differ. Another difference since 2013 is the PRICE. Gotttt danggggg, since I started using it, there's been an increase in 10 dollars.. okay yes I get it, it's been 10 + years. So in reality, like a dollar per year so that's fine I guess, but just looking at the bill I was like BRUH I remember when this was so much cheaper. Then I realized I was just aging myself and sounding like an old ass mfer. I decided to make friends with the driver on this early morning ride and came to find out that he also was celebrating 10 years working at castle. I hadn't seen him before, but it's probably because I don't usually take this early of a flight. He's been working night shifts 6pm-9am and I guess I just have missed him every time. He was a great driver, I've had some people very stop and go that have made me nauseous and he wasn't one of those types. So I start to fall asleep. Nodding off and all. Until....

PRRRRRAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPPPPPTTTTTTTFFFffffff

ffffffffftttttttt

This dude ABSOLUTELY RIPS one. I am stunned. I'm scared to look in the rearview mirror and make eye contact but I just can't help myself. I glance up and he just has his eyes glued to the road, not in a nervous way or like avoiding eye contact way, but like a natural I'm driving so I have to keep my eyes on the road type of way. And he acts like NOTHING happened. And that's when the sulfur blasts me in the face like a sand storm in the middle of the Saharan desert. Do I roll the window down? Do I act like nothing is happening? I feel like I can't see through the tears welling up. I sit there like a mannequin for a good 30-45 seconds just taking it like the strong independent woman I am, refusing to let the smell persuade me to ruin the relationship with the man who is driving me to the airport. Of course the relationship is crucial, of course I can't say anything, of course I CANT BREATHE.

The acidic odor finally passes and I arrive at my destination. JFK. Phew. I get out of the car and so does mister gassy pants. He hands me my luggage from the trunk and says, "Hope you have a great vacation" with a big ole smile on his face, pure denial. I say my thanks and walk away.

My hope for you is that you learn from my mistake and advocate for yourself. Roll that window down, visibly plug your nose in disgust, tell the driver his gas be rank. Because maybe, JUST maybe, you'll be able to get a discount for it and pay 10 dollars less, just like the olden days.

Sounds like we are starting to board. Hope you have a great weekend friends, can't wait to talk soon. Sistah Ceej loves you!!