CREATE

As a precedent, I just wanna tell you I feel like I’m gonna lowkey sound wackadoo telling this story… lmao so be forewarned HAHA. Let’s set the scene, my fiance and I were watching the movie lawless for the first time last night. Set in the 1930s. Tom hardy (my boyyyyy), Shia lebouf , and Jason Clarke are a trio of brothers and big time moonshine sellers in Virginia. Yes of course all the violence involved, as Tom hardy roles usually do, and we had to stop it halfway because… work. Trying to be a responsible adult, sleep is gold, 8 hour goals. So we go to bed. I was rolling around for what felt like all night and I think I thought I heard my alarm go off, well or my mans got out of bed to use the bathroom. Some kind of sleep disruption happened. And so I was lying in bed just trying to fall back asleep, unsure if I should be trying to go back to bed or get up because I’m not sure if its time to get up or I just made up the alarm in my head and I end up falling back asleep, of course after I tell myself my morning affirmations “I am so happy and grateful that what I hold in my head is already in my hands” multiple times… and this dream comes tumbling in… the setting for this dream is exactly like lawless (but no Tom hardy unfortunately…) but it’s me, and a couple of my (I forget which) relatives just sitting in this wooden house at golden hour. And two men break in with their  labradoodle puppy. I know it sounds weird, but just hear me out. They both have facial gruff that needs to be shaven. One of them wearing a navy golf cap (think Tommy Shelby, not tiger woods) and with a piece of wheat sticking out the side of his mouth. The other one just security? Thickly gelled back hair hanging over the nape of his buzzed neck. And when I say they broke in I mean like they fully kicked down the door. The seeming security friend hands me a book. A book? Really? What the hell kind of dream is this? “I was told to give this to you”, he says. I look down to catch a glimpse of what it is. The cover page is split into 3 evenly stacked sections. The top 1/3 is a solid sun yellow. The middle third is all white with the word “CREATE” in black capital times new roman and what seems to be a sunset happening in the bottom right corner of said section. And the bottom section is that same yellow banner that was on the top. I open it up and randomly flip to a page just to see what this book was all about. My full name is ALL OVER it. Cydni Jace Ramos Asuncion. Every few paragraphs. What in the heck? Im literally a Jane doe, an ant in a pile of hay, a regular shmegular. Was this book written by my mom?? Was she the one who sent you because I’m pretty sure my dad wouldn’t write a book nor ever refer to me via my birth given name… I look up from the book and the two men are headed back to their automobile with their labradoodle in arm and I suddenly panic. After grabbing at a bunch of things I need, and stuffing them in my pockets and a bag I’m assuming, I book it outta there with the relatives who I can’t name in our own auto and start coasting down the dirt road. The amount of bumps in the road are unending, disturbing to say the least. We are riding for what seems like 10 minutes when we come upon the 2 men. The one with the cap is driving and the other is casually riding in the passenger seat. We ride parallel to each other for a good few seconds and Tommy Shelby 2.0 tips his hat and brakes so that their carriage trails behind. And then we come upon an intersection. Is that 2 bears?! Chasing the puppy labradoodle?! I open my door, lean down and offer an arm perpendicular to the gravel road running beneath and call the pup who runs straight to me and matches on and I comfortably bring him up into the car.

And I wake up to my actual alarm. A foggy cloud just hovers in my mind. What the hell was that dream all about?! So random, must’ve just been remnants from watching Lawless and picking such a solid movie last night. The ideas just stuck in my head and that’s why I’m having dreams like that. As I wake up more, I think more introspectively about the dream. I’ve been talking about starting my own side hustle business for weeks. Creating a brand, how the present is in fact a product of my thoughts and actions from the past. CREATE, in big bold letters. Nothing holding us back from going for our dreams but us settling in the hesitancy and never taking action. Was this dream sent to me by God? Lola? A relative who wants me to chase after my dreams? Is there more in store for me than what I’m after right now?

I’ve come to the conclusion that the world is an open book with our names all over it. Make of it what you want and turn it into your happiness, because the only person living this life for you is YOU. And I might need to get a labradoodle puppy…

Happy Tuesday folks!

Sistah ceej loves you so much and is so grateful that you’re here 🤍

Reach out if you wanna talk! Cjslifeemail@gmail.com